brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
