we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
