people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
