The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
