K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
