I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
