I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
