She's JV to your varsity
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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