i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Let's get the cat blown out
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
