i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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