dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
