she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If I die, sorry about rent.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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