I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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