Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
