What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
