I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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