She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
