Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
