My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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