he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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