Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
