dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
