I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
