I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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