I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
