So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
