I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
