this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
