Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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