She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
