just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
