too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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