The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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