so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
