i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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