She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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