This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
