Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
