i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
