Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
