Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
