How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
