Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
