I wannas sexs uuuuu
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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