why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
