She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
