summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
