dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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