Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
