p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
