he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
