My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
